You Were Just Here
by NCISgirl1527
Summary: "You were just here. You were just holding me. I was alright. I never would have believed that you'd go away. That you could just disappear when you were just here..." Eleanor's thoughts after her husbands death. Tragedy/Romance/Angst. Pre-season 2 Enjoy


**_This is my first In Plain Sight fic. I have been watching the show for over a year now, but I never did a story for it. Anyway I loved Eleanor in season two and I really miss her now that she is gone. This is a look into her life before she joined the team but after her husbands death. The plot follows the song "You Were Just Here," by Jo Dee Messina. I hope you enjoy it._**

_**Spoilers: None**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own it. If I did we would still have Eleanor.**_

"Sweetheart, wake up," a voice called out in the darkness. Eleanor stirred slowly in her sleep then hearing the voice again she sat bolt up right in her bed. Looking around in the dark, she searched for another being in the room. Try as she might her eyes could not penetrate the darkness of the room.

"John," she whispered into the darkness holding her breath for an answer. There wasn't one. The only light her room was the alarm clock with its brightly glowing numbers proclaiming that it was five in the morning. Then she saw the light flashing in the hall.

Sighing, she collapsed back on to her pillows. The voice had been coming from the TV not from John. She resisted the urge to reach over and feel the other side of the bed for and another human being. She knew it would be empty…just like it had been every other morning that week.

Eleanor resigned herself to the fact that it was time to get up. She did not want to but she knew that it would be impossible for her to regain that blissful oblivion that sleep provided. It was time to face another day all alone. She rose from the bed and wrapped her robe carefully around herself. Out of habit she straightened the covers and fluffed the pillows before heading out of the room.

She wandered slowly down the hall. It was a little brighter here because of the streetlights shining though the windows, but Eleanor did not seem to care. She moved into the living room and turned off the TV. She must have accidentally left it on last night.

She compulsively started cleaning the living room again. She had done it almost every morning for the last week. She started by rubbing down the entertainment center with a dust rag. Then she took her dishes from dinner last night and she set them in the kitchen. She walked back into the living room and eyed a half empty coffee cup that sat on the side table.

She reached for it and her hand was about an inch from it when she faltered. She stood there looking at the cup and steeling herself to do. She knew she had to do it at some point; it might as well be right then and there. She stared at it for a few more moments. Her hand dropped to her side and her mind confirmed what the little voice in her head already knew. She could not do it. It was just too soon.

She sank back in her chair a looked a coffee cup, but she did not really see it. She was lost in memories of the previous Tuesday.

FLASHBACK

"Honey it is time to go," Eleanor told her husband leaning over the back of his chair. He was sitting there reading the paper and drinking his coffee.

"Ten more minutes," he asked her. She walked around the front of the chair and put her hand on the paper he had lowered. Gently she pressed her lips against his. After a second she pulled away from him. "Is that a yes?" he asked hopefully.

Eleanor smiled at him lovingly for a moment. "No," she told him whacking his knee with the paper she had stolen from him, "we still need to be in the car now." With that she left the room.

John smiled at her as she left the room. "What can you do?" he asked himself. He took one last gulp of the coffee and set the still half-full glass down on the table. Then he followed his wife out of the room.

END FLASHBACK

The memories in the living room overwhelmed her and she forced herself to get up and leave the room. She kept a calm exterior but inside pain, anger, and loss all fought for their place along with a dozen other emotions. It all hurt so much.

She walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter trying to keep from having another trip down memory lane. Even as did it she knew it was hopeless. You can't have someone vanish from your life after two and a half decades of marriage and not see them everywhere you go.

She looked up at the wall and immediately regretted it. The calendar was hanging right in front of her and it drew her eyes to it. She looked at it for a long moment her eyes trained on a red circle John had made at the beginning of the month. The big red circle surrounded Christmas.

The calendar was made of paper. It had no way to know that the man who had made the red circle would not be there on that day nor did it care. Eleanor cared though. This would be the first Christmas in three decades that she would spend without him, and it would be the first Christmas in her lifetime that she had spent alone.

She ran both hands through her hair and turned away from the calendar. She turned away from its silent insistence that nothing had changed…its silent insistence that she would wake up on Christmas in the arms of her one true love.

She wandered into the hall and her eyes lit upon a picture. John had received it for his birthday earlier in the month and hung it up about a week ago. The silver frame that housed it sparkled in the rising sun. Her eyes were trained on the face of her husband. She did not know who had taken the picture of the two of them, but it was beautiful.

They were sitting on a blanket in the middle of a grassy field. It had been taken at a picnic they had gone on about a year ago. Eleanor was nestled in John's arms and leaning back against his chest. They were both laughing at some long-forgotten joke. It was just one of the many reminders of happier time. However the picture like the calendar both told a lie. There was no tomorrow for them, there was only yesterday.

FLASHBACK

"So why exactly did you take me away from that wonderful cup of coffee?" John teased his wife.

"Come on," she chided him, "you remember what today is."

"Well, it is not our anniversary or either of our birthday's," he began. Then he smiled, "So it must be the church Christmas Pageant."

"You remembered," she commended him proudly. Reaching over she placed her hand on his thigh.

"Of course I remembered," he told her, "I know you love it. We go every year." He placed his hand on hers for a moment and squeezed then he returned it to the wheel.

Eleanor did not remove her hand. "I love you," she told him with the special smile she saved just for him.

"I love you, too, sweetheart," her told her. He glanced at her for a moment. He loved that smile. He only had his eyes away from the road for a moment but it was long enough for him not to see the car coming at them. When he did it was too late. There was nowhere to go.

END FLASHBACK

Eleanor reached out to her left feeling for her husband but she could not feel him. It hurt so much. He was so close that she could feel it in the air, but he was not there. Her brain knew that he would never be there again. Her heart did not want to listen to reason. Her heart wanted her brain to be wrong. Her heart wanted something that was impossible. Her heart wanted John back in her arms.

He was the only really good thing in her life. Her job was enjoyable. Her friends were all nice. Their house was great. However she would have traded it all for him in an instant. He was the one who made her feel better after she had been though a rough patch. He was the one who could always make her laugh. He knew how understand her without words. He made her feel special and that was a feeling that should never be taken for granted.

He was the whole world to her and now he was gone. The place in her life that had once been his was now a giant black hole that threatened to pull everything else in with it. She closed her eyes and pulled her robe tighter around her. All she had left was the memories…Three decades of friendship gone in a single second…

FLASHBACK

"Baby stay with me," Eleanor begged her husband.

The car that had smashed into theirs had hit the driver's side extremely hard. John was pined in place by countless pieces of metal. He had been forced sideways by the impact and was partially on top of Eleanor. She was had one arm wrapped around his upper body. With the other one she was rubbing his hair and brushing it out of his face.

"I love you," he whispered. His eyes were fluttering. Eleanor could see that it was a struggle for him to keep them open but he was trying. He had to keep trying. She needed him.

"I love you too," she replied kissing him.

Looking down at his lower body, she was scared. There was a lot of blood. She held on to him a little tighter.

"You're going to be alright," she told him.

"I love you," he told her one last time before his eyes fluttered closed for the last time.

"I love you too, baby," she whispered as she broke down into deep choking sobs that wracked her entire body. "I love you, too."

_**Did you like it? Was it good? Was it bad? Please tell me. **_


End file.
